life lately

Life these last 3 months have been very full to say the least (as you can tell from my lack of posts). In the midst of a new job, moving back to LA, figuring out church, and trying to balance work and me-time, I kind of lost myself. But before I get into that, let me rewind and update you on where I am now.

I teach Kindergarten at a STEAM-focused public school with 23 awesome kiddos (aka my guinea pigs).

I live in a wonderful apartment in downtown Culver City with my college roommate - what a dream, right - and her brother.

I commute back to Orange County every weekend for family and church.

God has blessed me in so many different ways, and ultimately has answered prayers both big and small. However, somewhere in between moving and starting my daily life as a Kinder teacher, I lost sight of both myself and who God was. I became so engrossed in the smaller things like setting up my classroom, lesson planning, dealing with day-to-day behavior issues, and trying to figure out food for the week that I completely forgot God's part in all of this.

I was turning to myself, the internet, co-workers, friends, and family for help when I should have first been turning to God. But God, being great in mercy, brought me down to my knees at one of the lowest points in these last 3 months, gently reminding me that He was still there. That He who knew me deeply also loved and cared for me deeply. And the following memory from almost 2 years ago came to mind:

See, it wasn't me fixing me anymore. It was God fixing me. It was God speaking to me the things I tried to block out for so long. 

While these last few weeks have been far from perfect, it's been comforting to know each day is in God's hands. Though my days with 23 kinders are crazy and challenging, they are also filled with joy, laughter, a ton of learning moments (more so mine than the kids), and always some tears (surprisingly more of the kids' than mine). 

Thank goodness for daily grace. I am in much need of it.